random thoughts

Vasantrao

2011-11-04T19:36:00.000-07:00

Kuruntokai

2010-03-31T22:22:00.001-07:00

Only the dim-witted say it's evening
when the sun goes down
and the sky reddens,
when misery deepens,
and the mullai begins to bloom
in the dusk.

But even when the tufted cock
calls in the long city
and the long night
breaks into dawn,
it is the evening:
even noon
is evening,
to one who has no one.

Translation by Shri. A.K. Ramanujan, Poems of Love and War
original verse by Milaipperun Kantan, Kuruntokai 234.

colours

2009-11-13T15:20:00.001-08:00

listen to them,
their constant sympathy,
you feel anger,
red for you

jump once, jump twice,
jump so high,that you may fly
what did you (not) touch
blue for you

walk through the woods,
the wind blows gently,
grass and the foliage,
green for you

sit down,
stop thinking, stop feeling,
stop touching, stop breathing,
what do you see?
black for you

DKP

2009-08-20T08:31:00.000-07:00

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Jon B Higgins

2009-08-19T19:03:00.000-07:00

In Memory of Jon Borthwick Higgins The editors and the Board of Directors of The Society for Asian Music dedicate this issue of Asian Music to the memory of Jon Higgins. Jon Higgins had been a member of the Society since the late 1960s, had served on the board from 1978 to 1983, and had sung two concerts of karnatak music for the Society, the first in the 1979 concert series, the second as a memorial performance for Konrad Bekker. In the tragically brief period of his professional life, Jon Higgins set high standards to emulate and accomplished much, as a musician, scholar, teacher, and administrator. We will sorely miss his efforts in all of these areas, and we will always remember the versatility, skill, richness, and beauty of his song. His teacher and colleague at Wesleyan University, Dr. T. Viswanathan, has kindly allowed us to reproduce the following memorial essay, which originally anpeared in the February-March issue of Sruti (Madras, India). In addition, the essay following Dr. Viswanathan's was written by Karaikudi S. Subramanian, whose doctoral work at Wesleyan Jon Higgins directed. Dr. Viswanathan's essay: It was a grey, chilly morning around 9 o'clock, Friday December 7th, 1984. Jon Higgins rushed into my house carrying his cassette recorder, folders containing sheets of svara-notated music, and his electronic sruti- box. We sat together cross-legged on the rug preparing to begin our music lesson, but first turned to a discussion of our forthcoming trip to South Africa (sponsored by the Indian Academy of South Africa, Durban) and to the political problems there that warranted some concern. Jon expressed his feelings as to why he thought we should take the opportunity to per- form in such a troubled area, particularly stressing that our concerts should only be performed in non-segregated auditoriums. He at least wanted to show the South African government that his ensemble was a multi- racial one and was thus a small but sincere protest against the racist policy of apartheid. We eventually came to a tentative agreement about the trin and began work on a Tamil kriti, Adinadeppadiyo, in kalyani raga, adi tala, comoosed by Muttuttandavar. Jon liked the song because he felt lFthad "the depth and majesty of a Muttusvamy Dikshitar kriti." Since it wasn't a Dikshitar kriti, he wondered what elements were responsible for giving it that character. My response was to say that although the lyrics (sahitya) were composed by Muttuttandavar, the tune (the original being lost) was set by my teacher, the late Sri T.N. Swaminatha Pillai, who belonged to the Dikshitar school. Jon indicated his desire to learn more Tamil pieces of this type for the South African tour, and we finished the lesson at 10:30 a.m., after which he said he would meet me again on Monday. The next morning (Saturday, December 8th) around the same time, I had a phone call from his wife Rhea saying that Jon had been killed on Friday night by a drunken hit-and-run motorist while walking his dog on the road across from his house. 1 In keeping with tradition, it is not common for an Indian teacher to speak in praise of his student or sishya, Jon Higgins was an unusual individual. As a Westerner he committed himself to long and serious study of a music foreign to his own culture. Even more striking was the fact that he became an accomplished performer in that culture. Because of the unique circumstance of our relationship, then, I do not feel hesi- tant to break with tradition and allow myself the chance to write my feelings about him. Jon was born on September 18, 1939, in Andover, Massachusetts, a samll town in New England. He had his high school education at Phillips Andover Academy, where his father taught English for three or four decades and his mother taught piano and performed as an accompanist. After Andover, he attended Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut, where he received his B.A., as a double major in music and history in 1962, his M.A. in musicology in 1964, and his Ph.D. in ethnomusicology in 1973. I first met Jon in 1962 when he was a Master's candidate under Dr. Robert E. Brown, who was responsible for initiating the Indian music program at Wesleyan. It was because of Brown's fine taste in music and gift of generating interest and enthusiasm in his students that Jon was first exposed to and captured by the music of South India. Only a few months before our acquaintance, he had been deeply touched by a perfor- mance of my sister Balasarasvati, when she had sung and danced at Ted Shawn's famous Jacob's Pillow music and dance festival in Lee, Massachu- setts. In an interview for Capitol Records, Rory Guy quotes from Jon that the role of music in Balasarasvati's performance impressed him "forcefully," that it "was not mere accompaniment to a dancer, but rather the living source of the dance itself." Jacob's Pillow and selected tapes from Robert Brown's collection convinced Jon to focus on Brown's South Indian music study group at Wes- leyan where, between 1962 and 1964, he participated in survey courses and seminars in ethnomusicology and in the music of India. He studied solkattu with my brother Ranganathan (the result of which was a Master's thesis), and was for the first time involved in vocal classes where he learned exercises and compositions from lesson tapes I had made for Brown in 1960. In a 1971 interview for the Times Weekly, Jon said that "although the Carnatic idiom was totally new and different, I felt I could with perseverance and dedication, understand its language." Com- mitting himself to the idea of full-time study of Karnatak vocal music, Jon approached me with the request that I accept him as a student, and when I agreed, he applied for and received a Fulbright scholarship to come to India in 1964. When he arrived in Madras, he came to see me at Madras University where, at the time, I was head of the Department of Indian Music. I was a little apprehensive about how I was going to help a young "Connecticut Yankee" with his projected nine-month course of South Indian music study. Disguising my uneasiness, we drew up a rough schedule through which he would learn an assortment of compositions covering song forms of important composers, basic improvisation, basic work in general theory, and language study in Telegu and Tamil. We fixed a date and I asked him to come for his first vocal lesson in my 2 office at 11:00 a.m. He arrived on the appointed day at 11:05 a.m. Having lived in the United States for a couple of years and having often heard the comment that Indians are never punctual, I was carrying a chip on my shoulder big enough to cancel the lesson and demand that he come on the next scheduled day, and on time. Over the years we often laughed at that incident. Until his death, however, he would always call me if he was going to be late for a lesson--just to make sure. I, on the other hand, had long since slipped back to my old habit of being on "Indian Standard Time." Over the months that followed, Jon learned a number of compositions with the sensitivity of a good Indian student. The Madras December music season had come and gone, and the Tyagaraja Aradhana Festival was iminently approaching. I felt that at this stage of his progress he should sing whatever he had learned at the Tyagarajasvamy's samadhi and receive the saint's blessings. Alattur Subbayyar, the festival secretary at that time, was in support of the idea. When we went to Tiruvaiyaru, Jon was very frightened and nervous at the thought of facing thousands of rasikas. H suffered even more when he was told that his short performance would be broadcast nationally on All India Radio. The day he was to go on stage he was a physical and mental wreck. But the audience was delighted, and they listened to his performance with amazement. They were even more astounded that a foreigner could take such interest in the art music of South India, and that he could sing so well and with such bhava and sincere bhakti. What they did not know was that even with his great talent, how hard and with how much commitment he had worked for over two years. When people said that he must have been born on the banks of the Kaveri River in his previous birth, Jon took it as a complement but knew the truth lay in his long hours of devoted practice. Jon continued to work hard learning progressively more complicated compositions, and slowly I introduced him to manodharma sangita (improvi- sation). In 1966, the United States Information Service recognized his contribution as a "cultural ambassador" and a concert tour of South India was arranged for him with V. Thyagarajan (violin), T. Ranganathan (mri- dangam), and V. Nagarajan (kanjira). Jon also recieved invitations from sabhas in Bombay, New Delhi, Calcutta, and other big cities, and wherever he performed he was appreciated with warmth and acceptance. His Fulbright scholarship was extended for an unprecedented third year when that organi- zation realized the contribution he was making to promoting cross-cultural understanding, and that he needed to continue his music studies in order to improve. Toward the end of 1966, when I had to leave India for my Ph.D. course work at Wesleyan, I wanted to leave Jon with someone who could provide continuity in our family (Dhanammal's) style. My choice was the late Ramnad Krishnan, under whom he studied for the remaining number of months before his return to the United States in June 1967. After Jon's return to the United States, I frequently and fondly recall how we would attend classes and study for our Ph.D. qualifying exams together. We would spend long hours exchanging notes and informa- tion where he would help me with Western music theory and history, and I would help him with Indian culture and music theory. (And I can never 3 forget his loving assistance in finally helping me edit and revise my Ph.D. dissertation in 1974.) Our relationship grew to the point where we considered each other "family," and when Jon decided to get married in October of 1967, he requested that his in-laws-to-be and his parents allow a concert of Indian music the night before the wedding. Ramnad Krishnan, V. Thyagarajan, T. Ranganathan, V. Nagarajan (all of whom had just arrived in the United States), Nageswara Rao (vina), and I performed, and I couldn't help but be reminded of a janavasam (bridal reception the night before a wedding) in South India. Two years after his marriage, Jon returned to India with his wife Rhea to begin work on his doctoral dissertation, "The Music of Bharata Natyam." Under Balasarasvati's guidance he learned dance music (padams and javalis), a practical approach to the theory of rasa, aspects of nayaki-nayaka bhava, and other performance-related topics. With the help of Bala's nattuvanar, K. Ganesan (son of Bala's guru, Sri Kandappa), he made a comprehensive study of the rhythmic compositions that are part of the Bharata Natyam repertoire. A year later, Balasarasvati gave him the honor of accompanying her dance performance in New Delhi. Jon made a great impression on thousands of music lovers throughout India. He concertized extensively, mostly accompanied by V. Thyagarajan, T. Ranganathan, and V. Nagarajan. He was also honored by the accompani- ment of great artists such the late Palghat Mani Ayyar and Palghat Raghu, Umayalpuram Sivaraman, Trichy Sankaran, and Karaikkudi Mani, to name a few. He drew a devoted following of Indian rasikas in the United States as well, where T. Ranganathan and I usually provided accompaniment. For American audiences, Jon was always particular to present well-crafted lecture/demonstrations so that those hearing Karnatak music for the first time could listen to his concerts with some understanding and apprecia- tion. But like all of us, he felt that despite his popularity and success, he had much more to learn--and he was constantly working towards that goal in spite of his limited time and energy. Jon visited India for the third time as a Senior Research Fellow of the American Institute of Indian Studies, between December 1981 and June 1982. Part of his project was to perform before critical Indian rasikas and esteemed Karnatak musicians so that he might receive an honest apprai- sal of his progress. He worked very hard for several months learning new compositions. He also spent a great deal of time developing fresh ideas for improvising. Unfortunately, in the midst of his visit, he fell ill with bronchial pneumonia, followed by pleurisy and a gall bladder infec- tion, and he was forced to cancel many of his concerts. Only because he was so disappointed and frustrated about not performing was he able to summon the energy to do a few concerts in Madras, Bangalore, and Bombay, and to make a cassette tape for the AVM company. (Previously, he had made three long-playing commercial records.) On the whole, the trip was a very depressing one for him, and he was looking forward to returning and performing under better circumstances. Most rasikas in India knew Jon as "Bhagavatar," but few knew of the 4 responsibilities he shouldered, in his professional life as a teacher and administrator, and in his personal life--qualities that in addition to his music, I feel made him an extraordinary human being. Between 1971 and 1978 he was Professor of music and Associate Dean of Fine Arts at York Univer- sity in Toronto, Canada. During his tenure at York he was responsible for inviting Trichy Sankaran, who joined him on the faculty as professor to teach mridangam. With the help of Sankaran, Jon propagated Karnatak music throughout Canada. He joined Wesleyan University as the Director of the Center for the Arts and Professor of music in 1978. He was constantly striving to broaden the range of cultural presentations in and outside the university community, and he had recently completed an intensive report with three other faculty members, projecting the future of the university curriculum. The energy he devoted to this study more than reflected his concern and commitment toward the future direction of the institution with which he was intimately connected. As a member of the music faculty he was constantly preoccupied with strengthening the quality of Wesleyan's ethnomusicology program. His workdays were officially from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., but commitments related to his administrative position required many additional hours in the week. His role in the university combined with his sense of civic awareness involved him in numerous cultural activ- ities in the community. In the midst of such a pressured schedule, he maintained a very deep relationship with his family, always putting aside time to nurture his role as a husband and father. His generosity and warmth touched so many people, I feel it appropriate to include the following tributes: Jon had remarkable qualities. He was an unpretentious artist. He loved to give his gift to others. He sang in the choir of the First Congregational Church, even though his voice was far better than anyone else's. He was generous with his time and with his talent in the community. (Carl Scheibe, Professor of Psychology, Wesleyan University) (Jon Higgins) loved and was a superb singer of European and American classical vocal music. Although he sang music by virtually all the famous European composers--from Handel and Bach to Haydn and Mozart, and to such later composers as Faure, Brahms and the American Charles Ives--perhaps his art placed him closest to music of the European Renaissance and Medieval eras. Such composers as Machaut, Josquin, Palestrina, and Monteverdi were extremely compatible to him. His vocal style contained great concern for words, for rhythmic phrase, and clear articulation within a beautiful and expressive sound. One thinks, by way of comparison, of the Swiss, Hugh Cuenod, and of the American, Roland G. Hayes--both singers whose art lent itself to the intimately expressive music... By virtue of his training in intellectual history and music scholarship, and his extraordinary familiarity with Karnatak music and dance, he was uniquely qualified to speak to the American scholarly community about Indian music. (Richard Winslow, Professor of Music, Wesleyan University) 5 Jon had decided, a few months before he died, to return to full time teaching, performing, and writing about Western and Karnatak music. In order to accomplish this, he had planned to resign his job as Director of the Center for the Arts. His plans included the development of a course on traditions of vocal music around the world. That such a dynamic and sensitive person, who had so much more to give, should be deprived of life, strikes one as a cruelty beyond comprehension. We can be thankful for his contribution to the world of music, but most important is the legacy he left of promoting cultural understanding through the arts. For a man with a conscience in a troubled world, Jon gave some- thing great. It is my hope that he will be remembered in his role as a "cultural ambassador"--that perhaps interest will be generated in the United States and in the governments of India and Tamilnadu, to establish a scholar- ship fund in his name so that students (both Indian and non-Indian) will be encouraged to pursue the kind of serious study of Karnatak music that Jon undertook. A New York Times music reviewer wrote of him: "Even if some of this vocal maze of India can be admired by the Western listener, presumably there are not many Western singers who would attempt to work within its demands. One who did, and triumphed at it, was Jon Higgins." (New York Times, December 10, 1984) 6

Source: Asian Music, Vol. 16, No. 2 (Spring - Summer, 1985), pp. 1-6
Published by: University of Texas Press
Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/833771
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Vadavarayai

2009-08-09T22:30:00.001-07:00

வடவரையை மத்தாக்கி வாசுகியை நாணாக்கிக் கடல்வண்ணன் பண்டொருநாள் கடல்வயிறு கலக்கினையே

கலக்கியகை யசோதையார் கடைகயிர்ரால் கட்டுண்கை மலர்க்கமல உந்தியாய் மாயமோ மருட்கைத்தே

அருபொருள் இவனென்றே அமரர்கணம் தொழுதேத்த உறுபசி _ஒன்று இன்றியே உலகடைய உண்டனையே

உண்டவாய் கலவினான் உரிவேன்னே உண்டவாய் வண் துழாய் மாலையாய் மாயமோ மருட்கைத்தே

திரண்டமரர் தொழுதேத்தும் திருமால்னின் செங்கமல இரண்டடியான் மூவுலகும் இருள்தீர நடந்தனையே

நடந்த அடி பஞ்சவர்க்குத் தூதாக நடந்த அடி மடங்கலாய் மாறட்டாய் மாயமோ மருட்கைத்தே

மூவுலகும் ஈரடியான் முறைநிரம்பா வகைமுடியத் தாவிய சேவடி செப்பத் தம்பியோடும் கான்போந்து

சொமரனும் போர்மடியத் தொல்லிலங்கை கட்டழித்த சேவகன் சீர் கேளாத செவி என்ன செவியே திருமால் சீர் கேளாத செவி என்ன செவியே

பெரியவனை மாயவனைப் பேருலகம் எல்லாம் விரிகமல உந்தியுடை விண்ணவனைக் கண்ணும்

திருவடியும் கையும் திருவாயும் செய்ய கரியவனைக் காணாத கண்ணென்ன கண்ணே கண் இமைத்துக் காண்பார்தம் கண்ணென்ன கண்ணே

மடம்தாழும் நெஞ்சத்துக் கஞ்சனார் வஞ்சம் கடந்தானை நூற்றுவர்பால் நாற்றிசையும் போற்றப் படர்ந்து ஆரணம் முழங்கப் பஞ்சவர்க்குத் தூது நடந்தானை ஏத்தாத நாவென்ன நாவே நாராயணா ஏன்னா நாவென்ன நாவே

திரு இளங்கோ அடிகள், சிலப்பதிகாரம்

நன்றி http://www.karnatik.com/c1473.shtml

What was that?

2009-07-30T19:13:00.000-07:00

DIA to LGA
Flushing meadows crazy..!
turnstiles and baggage
phone call
Taxi to Manhattan....
4th avenue (114th avenue?)
Latte and Milan Kundera
The twenty block run up and the run down
meet talk coffee
times square....kids? Lights people craziness..the giant wheel
food; awesome...ethiopian honey wine
Columbia..Jschool Pulitzer Sylvia Nasar
Instructions...old friends mexican champagne mojito
sleep message Manhattan
crazy line for the statue
walk through, bulls anti-towers...
THE bridge
meet again, Latte photos
Korean khimchi; the greatest red sauce ever made?
church, beautiful...Jamaican and Obama
10 seconds of fearlesness...answer...silence...answer
Harlem...metro and craziness (114th or 14th)
drive through FDR...THE lights across the river, beauty in the beast?
shitty bus, crazy film maker..smelly co passenger, the wait..the answer

Two days huh? :)

Calcutta Musings

2009-06-22T22:04:00.000-07:00

Well! it is the same old story, I have yet again failed at maintaining a log book/ diary! So here it is some typically disjointed musings about my two weeks stay at IACS Kolkata.

The guest house was way beyond my expectations, completely air conditioned with a TV on which I could actually watch the French Open (Federer won, YES!) Luxury yeh

was working on saturday morning but ventured out to a mall (South city mall)in the evening. The area around Jadavpur is so new and it reminds me of most Indian cities I have been to, very synthetic, efficient and bereft of any history, but there are malls and you can people watch. There is a coffee day in the top most floor and made a mental note to comeback there!

Sunday was interesting, made a very ambitious plan based on a New York Times travel report to go around many parts of Kolkata but found out to my horror that the reporter most definitely had a car or was splurging on taxis, which is something I would hate to do :-P Either way I ended up going to the very grand and beautiful Victoria Memorial and the museum inside was awesome. Moved to the GPO from there but obviously the post office and the post museum are closed on Sunday :-p! Either way lots of beautiful colonial buildings, trams around Dalhousie square. Sunday afternoons are pretty empty there. Moved on to college street, most book shops were shutting down and most of them seemed to deal with academic books. I wish I could go back there at a better time and find some rare books. The day ended with a satisfying visit to The Coffee House. I instantly liked the place! The only issue was that I was alone and did not have enough people to argue or Adda with :) There was this quasi-irritating pro-communist doctor on my table who kept badgering south India and tamils with his ignorant comments (he felt there were many wine shops in Chennai because Tamil women were not beautiful and one needed alcohol to ignore this fact and marry them)...I felt a lot of pity for that ignorant b***ard!

The coffee was ok (not filter coffee)...but the vegetable pakoda was fantastic.

Discovered some great local food over the next week, which was mostly spent on work in the library. Egg rolls are heavenly and dhokar dalna is one veg bengali dish that has less potatoes than usual...great. I was tired of the indian chinese food which seems very popular in this part of Kolkata, so resorted to some ready made maggie food for the evenings.

Have to mention a couple of things about IACS, great insti with lots of good people (almost everyone is Bengali)..a tad red-taped by bureacratic hassles. The librarian reminded me of my middle school teachers. Very strict on the outside adhering to some irrational principles but persistent request and you can get things done :) the funniest rule in the library was the no personal footwear or use one of the slippers we provide rule. Most of the library staff were friendly (by the way the library was my office during the visit). My only grouse was that it shut down by 7:00 in the evening and I had to go someplace else to work. By the last week some of the graduate students at IACS became good friends and one of them went to the extent of giving me an office space to work after 7:00. These students were among the most motivated students I have seen anywhere, they practically live in their offices doing physics and enjoying life :) Antother interesting incident happened during lunch one of the days. Some middle aged guy approached me and asked me if I was related to Vishy Anand (due to my countenance), I told him I could barely play chess and would be very proud if I was even remotely related to the genius. This was a first, was strangely happy.

Went back to the mall on friday to meet a friend, went to CCD as I had promised myself. They are the best coffee chain in India, very reasonably priced and you know that they care about coffee. She also showed me the one book store in the mall (LandMark style) and I grabbed Amitav Ghose's Calcutta Chromosomes, I was feeling a bit orphaned without anything to read in the nights. This book is pretty interesting, I am halfway through.

Went to meet another family to deliver some stuff from their relatives in Canada, who happen to be my first friends in Canada. This house was brilliant, very old fashioned and Bengali, like it was out of Parineeta's sets. Went to Esplanade from there. Man take Ranganathan St, multiply area by 4 and increase people density by 10 times and you get Esplanade on a Sunday night. I was not into shopping so quicky headed to Park St. The Oxford Bookstore is great there, bought some books. Milan Kundera and Mukul Kesavan and settled for a quite supper at the near by Street pub. Very satisfying Saturday. Sunday was spent working in the afternoon at a Barista cafe, was good since I got some work done after a while :)

The next week was spent on working and trying hard to get some shape to the problem we were interested in. But wednesday was good since I had a chance to meet S, my undergrad mate and a person who I look up to in many ways. I went to the Howrah station to catch him on his way to Allahabad. He is working on a HEP pheno PhD. Crossing the Howrah bridge was breathtaking. I have watched it on TV and movies but nothing can capture what I felt (did not take my camera, I am losing faith in that medium and my memory :-P). We chatted up quite a bit, lot of catching up to do. I always come out of a conversation with S feeling happy. We then tried to sneak up to the first class waiting room that had a lovely view of Howrah and the river but the sentry shooed me away since I was not a passenger. Felt bad but this sort of forced us into getting out of the station and taking a boat ride on Hooghly. Sunset, great breeze, two bridges......Bliss! I felt satisfied.

Did not do much after wednesday, came back to Madras on Friday...home sweet home. I promised myself that I would spend more time in Kolkata the next time round.

Calcutta Diaries 1

2009-05-30T03:32:00.001-07:00

28 May Thursday

Arrived in Kolkata on the 28 th morning at 11. The flight by Indigo was comfortable but I was pretty tense, I guess I am still a huge nube with air travel. also the pilot wanted to land in the main runway but did not get clearance and hence was forced to land in a alternate runway, this contributed to my tension too! Got a prepaid taxi to Jadavpur, was a breeze, the taxi system should be implemented with Madras autos...taximan was on Mr.Ali, told him sheepishly that I could follow Bangla but did not speak any Bangla. asked for running commmentary on the route, found the parts near the airport to be small townish, reminded me of Trichy strangely but soon Ali showed me a Macdonalds (man the americanos want to make the world uniformly shitty :-P)! Not many surprises, Aila has smothered the suburbs. Madipakkam and Velachery need not feel special, all suburbs are meant to be f**ked when it rains. Ali strongly advises to first visit the Kali Bari before beginning my tour of the rest of Central Kolkata, strange considering he is probably a muslim. Kali must be a secular symbol of Calcutta....Ali was happy about the recent electoral reverses of CPM since he is a long time Congress supporter....Damn phone does not work, got a Calcutta phone later...reached IACS and met KS and we almost immediately launched into discussion of what we will work on, interesting stuff ahead....Had great lunch and followed it up with a nap...damn the jet lag, 2 days in Chennai helped but still tired around 4 in the evening...follow it up with excellent chinese dinner at Bawarchi (is this the Sunil Shetty chain??) sadly no hyderbadi biryani on the menu and even if there was my veggie brain might have missed it...the guest house is brilliant, ac and also tea, breakfast in the morning! Crash at 1:00...oh and Kolkata's humidity is very different from Chennai's, Chennai seems drier compared to here, the herr Mayo was right! :)

29 May Friday

Great day, good breakfast. Met a grad student from S's group at HRI. Discuss what's going on in grad schools here and also how computing facilities can be improved to tackle the massive needs of the particle physics community post LHC results...work at the library in the morning,followed up with long lunchtime meeting with KS, task identified. Afternoon was ok, still jet lagged and had roadside chai later. Got out around 7, called old friend A...he is part of corporate India now and decide to randomly join him for a Salsa party in the night...Salsa party was pretty loud, lots of very beautiful women and men who dance well.. was mere onlooker, what can you do when you have 200 left feet? had good dinner, couple of beers, the lounge was generally nice, very swish.somewhere near Park Street I am told (fort knox is the name of the building)....notice that I had passed through Shakespeare Sarani...it happens only in Kolkata I believe :) notice lots of police presence on the way back near Park street etc, post Mumbai attacks any place frequented by non-Indians seems to be recieving attention, I would probably increase police protection everywhere, infact protecting citizens must be the first goal.....Satisfying day all in all, crash for a 'good' night's sleep!

Of bees, newton's law and the nature of intelligence

2009-05-15T10:38:00.000-07:00

I saw a bee today inside the bus on the way to work. It was desperately trying to run away from the "monster" chasing it, nothing but the back wall of the bus. Now the question that arose in my mind was, why did the bee not slip right down to the floor of the bus? Does it not realise it need not run away from anything then? (of course some dumb-ass might step right on it but in the physicist bee's world, buses are full of vacuum :) )
This led me to the question that if the bumble bee realised this aspect of survival, does it mean that it has learnt Newton's laws? It is fascinating to think if one can do this bee in the bus experiment in a controlled environment to "teach" them Newton's law. This opens doors to many questions including whether there are clever bees, dumb ones etc. This can throw more light on to a often quoted (or mis-quoted) "herd" behaviour amongst smaller animals. Finally, the article about teaching Newton's law for robots which led me to this line of thinking:
http://www.telegraphindia.com/1090403/jsp/frontpage/story_10767237.jsp

beautiful!

2009-05-06T17:41:00.000-07:00

Can you bring together Moulin Rouge, Mera Naam Joker, Isha Sherwani, Hrithik Roshan and more colours! Yes we can says Zoya Akhtar, take a look at this awesomeness (I usually do not fall for bollywood movie numbers but the choreography in this song is breathtaking!)

2009-05-01T13:42:00.001-07:00

இனி என் சிந்தனைகளை தமிழில்க்கூட வெளியிட வாய்ப்பளித்த கூகளுக்கு நன்றி!

The female god

2009-01-27T06:33:00.000-08:00

one thought

touch, smile and yes

a new life

where am I,

where would I have been?

Watch Out

2008-12-25T08:00:00.000-08:00

As the year draws to close, I have to admit it has been one of the most fulfilling year for an Indian cricket nut! It is strange that although there has not been a single big win but a set of confident victories (yes, I did call the Aussie bashing series win in India not a single big win). Many a time in the past Indian teams have achieved some big wins but they proved to be flash in the pan and the manner of the team was more of the underdog winning against the odds. Dhoni's men seem to truly understand that they have it in them to be the best team in the world. On this note I think it is a good opportunity to list the set of people (yet to prove themselves) who will contribute to making this team the best and also the set of people who will fight to ensure this does not happen, Watch out for:
Batters:

Rohit Sharma --- The next big thing after Sachin from Mumbai? His temparament is often under question but talent wise he is in line to be a master batsman.

Shaun Marsh ---- This Aussie guy has cricket in his blood and he can hit the ball as far as anybody has ever done, ask the IPL watchers! With the emergence of attacking batsmen like Sehwag as central performers in test cricket, Shaun Marsh is an ideal Test batsman in the new era.

J.P. Duminy --- This guy is a proven ODI performer who has come of age with a gutsy performance in one of the most demanding places to play cricket. He seems to ooze with confidence that stems from having played international cricket for a while. South Africa's middle order is secure in such hands.

Bowlers:

Ishant Sharma: The find of the year for India, what can one say, finally India have a true fast bowler who is also ready to slog it out irrespective of the conditions. As some believe this may be his greatest advantage and possibly a factor that can burn him out. Well, forget what happens later, let us relish him as long as he lasts!

Amit Mishra: This guy is a proven performer at the domestic level and shone against the Aussies. He is a gutsy old fashioned leggie who can turn the ball. He has to take a leaf out of the accuracy book that was the domain of his erstwhile captain, Jumbo.

Dale Steyn: He has proven himself at the international level, but South Africa's future is tied to whether he can be consistent like Donald & co.

Paul Harris: Again a spinner who does not mind tossing it up. He has to come to the party to make South Africa a worthy successor to Aus and a regular challenger for India.

Mitchell Johnson: He, along with Zaheer Khan, has effectively made sure that Wasim Akram will not be the last left arm great to grace the game. His discipline and craft promises a long successful career.

Australian Spinner: What? Aussie spinner? I think I will have to leave this blank but I will fill this place with another spinner who can single handedly take his country to the top, Ajantha Mendis. This guy is a freak in the true sense of the word, if things go right he could be the most unconventional success cricket has ever produced.

All in all, the next decade is going to be a great one for cricket watchers and I hope twenty twenty does not eat up test cricket!

Decembers in Madras

2008-11-25T14:52:00.000-08:00

As I listen to MMI's rendition of Rangapuravihara, I am flooded by memories of many a December night of sleeping in the balcony where the gentle breeze put me to sleep. Mornings would dawn before the sun came out, MSS's version of the same song gently wafting in from the speakers of the nearby temple, coupled with the blissful aroma of fresh coffee from the kitchen. Evenings would be spent on more music from the 'season'. Madras in December is closest to heaven on earth :)

Jumbo!

2008-11-02T15:38:00.001-08:00

Thankyou Anil Kumble for showing the world that the only indispensable quality to achieve greatness is the willingness to toil for it. If there was any cricketer whose commitment has never been under the scanner even for a passing moment, it has to be Jumbo. Time and again he has won matches for India single handedly and brought joy to the entire nation. He will continue to inspire a lot of cricketers and common men alike!

A conversation

2008-08-23T18:28:00.000-07:00

Bum:(piss drunk and also smoking) Hello, can I get time.
me: what?
b: time(pointing at his wrist)
me:oh sorry, I dont have a watch!
b: you Indian/Pakistani? Pakistani?
me: (stunned, looking at that guy, looks not caucasian, a bit brown but very mediterranean!) No
I am Indian!
b: Brahmachari! Shashi Kapoor? do you know?
me: heard of it but I am not sure! I have not watched many old hindi movies, sorry!
b: You Indians have everything! music, cinema what not!
me: hmm! yes you are right( confused.... :))
b: (some incoherent stuff!)
me: sorry I dont get you. (oh man this guy is crazy!)
b: (says something, I figure out he is speaking french!)
me: i am sorry, I cant understand french! I speak english.
b: (slightly angry and flustered, probably thinks I am an pro-English crazy guy) You english very small! (puts his cigarette butt down and rubs it on the pavement and says) French do this to English!
me: OK! (this guy is getting on my nerves)
b: you know Nehru? he was in Paris, he was English (wtf? Nehru english?) he was small! Paris
me: alright I dont get you!
b: (loses interest walks away and sits on a dust bin!)

Dr. 'Meesai' I.S. Murugesh

2008-08-05T12:36:00.000-07:00

Did you know that Meesai Murugesh played with Shakti band? I am bowled over by this discovery on the web. Basically I was listening to this old Shakti concert
At some point in the concert, John McLaughlin introduced a percussionist Murugesh as one of the greatest living percussionists. I was puzzled and a little bit of googling revealed that this guy was none other than our own Meesai Murgesh, who I knew was a crazy innovator who could make a zillion sounds and also play the thavil. His flair for comedy was showcased in a couple of Balachander movies but this new info just blows my mind!
Another Shakti concert where Murugesh played

Women

2008-08-01T16:13:00.000-07:00

Its evening
Has been a day where I barely speak a word.
Lonely it was, then comes along this whiff of fresh air
I go crazy, saying stuff that I don't mean, will that make me special?
Thinking instead of existing, speak one too many, words they suck!
It ends on a happy note, so do I think. Until I realise,
I was pathetic, for she said less than me :)
Life falls flat

German Humour

2008-03-09T12:20:00.000-07:00

The United Nations initiated a poll with the order "Please tell us your honest opinion about the lack of food in the rest of the world." The poll was a total failure. The Russians did not understand "Please". The Italians did not know the word "honest". The Chinese did not know what an "opinion" was. The Europeans did not know "lack", while the Africans did not know "food". Finally, the US Americans didn't know anything about the "rest of the world"!!

Source::http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_humour

He and She

2008-03-01T08:34:00.000-08:00

She was a bitch
so said every sane lady
She said things that were true
She was truth, of our lives and theirs
I loved her.
-------------------------------------------------------------
He laughed, that was his signature
A laugh that can send your roof flying
He spoke as if he owned the world
And you paid him taxes,
He loved people
He said so when he was drunk!

The Death Of Free Television Media in India

2008-01-22T09:40:00.000-08:00

With the acquiring of stakes in NDTV by NBC added to the association of IBN with CNN, two of the most daring and free spirited journalists who launched the Indian TV media revolution have fallen prey to trashy American media. This marks the beginning of the end of professional and sincere TV journalism in India!
To Hell with Rajdeep Sardesai and Prannoy Roy!

Taare Zameen Par

2008-01-04T22:45:00.000-08:00

Every Indian parent must see this movie! Aamir Khan-- the director has arrived!

Ponniyin Celvan

2008-01-02T14:12:00.001-08:00

Over 14 months ! I have finally completed Kalki's magnum opus Ponniyin Celvan, a five part novel in Tamil. Its amazing how I have been so ignorant about the rich literature of Kalki Krishnamurthy for large parts of my life.
I can immediately conjure up a few reasons,
I went to an English medium school and did not even formally learn Tamil for more than 3 years of my entire schooling!
Literature has little or no place in popular Tamil culture which has come to be defined and dominated by cinema and stupid politics.
Its been a while since Kalki wrote his books?
Kalki was a Brahmin and a forward thinking one at that! He was exactly the kind of Brahmin Karunanidhi and other dravidian ideologues refused to acknowledge the existence of! (As an aside I have to describe this scene in the movie Periyar, when Gandhi asks EVR whether there are no good people amongst Brahmins at all and cites Gokhale as an example! To this EVR in his characteristic wit and sharpness retorts, " If a Mahatma like you can see only one good brahmin , how can normal people like us see any good in them", I doubt if Periyar ever gave a thought about Kalki)

All said and done I am extremely satisfied that I have finally managed to read a full length novel and a classic at that. I have now become fairly familiar with the Kalki genre of Literature having read a couple of his shorter novels and non-fiction writing. Most notable among these is the book called "Sangita Vizhakkal". This work talks about how Carnatic Musicians in TN started accepting Tamil sahityams and giving them equal importance in comparison to other compositions predominantly in Telugu or Sanskrit! Here Kalki's love for Tamil shines through but he also shows how love for one language need not mean hating other languages( the message for linguistic fundamentalists!) I think it is now time for me to look beyond Kalki and read more modern writers like Jayakanthan. This marks the end for a conscious choice that I made two years ago. I promised to myself that I will read more Tamil literature than English for a couple of years. I have done that and from now on I hope to balance my time between English and Tamil. I got to know about sensible science fiction from Dr.Sitabhra Sinha's(IMSc) webpage and would like to try that genre since I seem to have done very little SF genre after Michael Crichton in high school!

Taslima Nasreen

2007-12-02T18:38:00.000-08:00

As an young 10th grade student with naive thoughts about religion, fundamentalism and life in general I discovered this book called "Lajja" which was supposed to be a banned book. It was not a profound piece of literature, considering I have come to read better works in English, but it had an honesty and helplessness about it that nobody has managed to replicate. It was dubbed anti-Islamic but in reality it was anti-fundamentalism at its best and feminism portrayed with rare poignance. Even as a 15 year old I could understand this, but it got widespread condemnation from the Islamic world. I have come to know since then that Taslima had various things to say on Islam some of which were derogatory. I dont have exact knowledge of everything she said but the general import of her statements is that she was trying to voice the concerns of women in Islamic societies.

In 2007 December Taslima is in news again caught in a web of fascist/communist politics and pseudo secularism that has come to play a defining role in Indian social life. The central government must be smiling ear to ear watching the CPI in Bengal behave like the Nazis in Nandigram and then trying desperately to divert attention away from that to Taslima. But the Congress refuses to condemn CPI's conduct of Taslima fearing repercussions from its muslim vote banks! It is crazy how Pranab Mukherjee gave this stupid caveat after promising protection for Taslima::
"Those given shelter in India have always undertaken to eschew political activities in India or any actions which may harm India’s relations with friendly countries. It is also expected that the guests will refrain from activities and expressions that may hurt the sentiments of our people."
As Arundhati Roy pointed out in a IBN program this is like sentencing Taslima to a life time of good behaviour as judged by the skewed political figures that have come to rule us! What does he mean when he says not to hurt sentiments? There are parties like the BJP which hurt minority sentiments every day, his own party which hurts Hindu sentiments by treating them like second class citizens in a country where they are a majority and finally he is in power precisely because of the great old man from TN, Karunanidhi, whose main political platform has been hate Brahmin, Hindi and Hindu(order dictated by current situation). This kind hate politics has been the hallmark of 2o th century India and when such things can happen why gag a poor lady?

Tch!

2007-11-12T10:49:00.000-08:00

One moment of indiscretion and stupidity can cost so much! I have discovered it!
It can screw a carefully constructed image of self and shock friends!
But am I my image or the image shattering reality?
Are my friends those who accept me or my image!
Can somebody help put an end to this agony?????????????????????????

Gandhi My Father-----Mahatma Unravelled

2007-10-13T08:13:00.000-07:00

There are very few films that move me since I think I have "grown" now to appreciate the fact that often times film makers in general and Indian masala ones tend to be deliberate and conceited in their attempts to move audiences! Rarely do you see such gems as "Gandhi-My Father", which by the very nature of the story and story telling captures the undivided attention of the audience and moves them completely!
This movie is based on a Gujrati novel by Dinkar Joshi and was originally a play(Gandhi vs Mahatma) by the guy who directed the movie, the famous playwright Feroz Abbas Khan. (side note:The role of Gandhi in the original play was done by none other than Munna Bhai fame Bomman Irani). Darshan Jariwala as Gandhi,the immensely under rated but super talented Akshaye Khanna (a.k.a. the Sanjeev Kumar of our times) as Harilal Gandhi,Shefali Shah as Kastur Ba, Bhumika Chawla as Gulab Harilal Gandhi have lived in their roles and have done justice to the script in more ways than one!
The subject is the troubled relationship between Gandhi and his son Harilal. Gandhi due to his active political life neglects basic education of his first son Harilal Gandhi and this one mistake in some sense sets the tone for most things that follow! At every step in Harilal's life he takes a path his father envisages for himself until he finds that his calling and his father's calling are not the same! Gandhi who has decided to dedicate his entire life happily to the service of his people expects his dear son to follow suit, but his son sadly wants a simple successful life as a barrister and a good family man. His lack of scholastic ability and Gandhi's own expectations thwart his attempts to succeed in this. As the movie develops one starts to understand that even though Gandhi has a fair share in his son's failure,which he and Kastur Ba acknowledge in two of the most moving scenes ever to have been shot, Harilal as a person is largely unable to come to terms with the reality of his life. He falls prey to one thing that his father despised,alcoholism,and finally meets his ailing mother drunk! His business attempts fail miserably and his bad company lands him in a ditch and tarnishes Gandhiji's image as well! The first scene opens with Harilal as a drunk tramp in a Mumbai hospital, penniless! When asked for his father's name he says Mahatma Gandhi but people obviously think he is just endearing himself to the father of the nation! This scene is beautiful and in a nut shell describes Harilal's predicament, to quote the tag line, Gandhi was the father Harilal never had!!
There are many remarkable things in the movie. The camera work by David McDonald(multiple golden lion winner at Venice) is so beautiful and spell binding yet completely non intrusive. One of the most moving images are Gandhi and his son sitting on a mountain slope silhouetted against the morning sky,awesome! The sound recording and background score are as supportive and complementary as Mani Iyer and TN Krishnan to a carnatic concert!
One must give it to the director Feroz Khan for such a complete and beautiful movie. More often than not, theatre directors do not make the switch this well. They tend to be verbose(e.g. K.Balachander in his initial days) and dont show proper understanding of the fact that Cinema as a medium is very different. I suspect from what ever little I have read of Feroz Khan that he has done very unconventional theatre which must have stood him in good stead! One example of his brilliance is the scene when Harilal enraged by his wife's cribbing about their lack of income goes out on the street shouting to every body "Mein Gandhi Ka Nalayak Beta hoon"while a Mahabharat drama troupe on the background looks on in astounded silence, acknowledging probably the fact that real life incidents may sometimes be more shocking than fantasy tales. As far as performances go Akshaye Khanna has done once in a life time job of it and I hope he gets the National Award for the best actor. Shefali Shah is an actress I love personaly and I have seen her excel even in smaller roles and finally she has got a role that justifies her stature and talent! Darshan Jariwala is a familiar face in the Parallel Circuit and he plays the role of the repentant,loving and strict father with panache! Another revelation is Bhumika who plays the role of Harilal's wife with such conviction and lack of melodrama. I have seen a movie called Missiama in Telugu where she is the hero of the movie and I was convinced she can act but here I feel sad that the Indian film industry is not using her full potential.
This is a film that in some sense begs for a global audience because of its theme and brilliant performances and direction. I only hope this film will be sent as the official Indian entry to the Oscars(I bet this will win one if sent) instead of some stupid Sanjay Leela Bhansali movie that is going to release soon. With people like Feroz Abbas Khan and Nagesh Kukunoor around Indian cinema is in safe hands! Hip Hip Hurray to the cast and crew of Gandhi, My Father!

2007-10-04T16:05:00.000-07:00

kanne, nee pirandha naeram
yen Marupiravi
naan kanmoodum varai
kannukul nee iruppai endraen
kan imaikkum naerathil
kaalan unnai parithu vittan
kan irukku
kannil eeram irukku
en kannan enge?

Sensitisation by Personal Exposure---Way to go?

2007-09-22T20:34:00.000-07:00

How many times have you shouted at a Customer service rep/tele marketing guy calling you? I think twice before doing that. My sister heads a Voice based unit of a BPO in Madras, some where down there, deep in my heart, I know I may be shouting at somebody I know :)

Kallil illai Kadavul :)

2007-09-01T09:47:00.001-07:00

Natta Kallai Theivam endru,
Naalu pushpam satriyae

Sutri Nindru mona mona endru, sollum mantram ethada

Natta Kallum Paesumo,
Nathan ulliruckayil!!
----------------Sithar Vaaku

Sachin, Dinesh Karthik and magic breakthroughs!!

2007-08-11T09:42:00.000-07:00

I have seen this familiar script rolled out many a time in my cricket watching and every single time I have felt the urge to do what Karthik does in this picture, go hug THE MAN!
Its redundant to talk about Sachin and his batting if you are an Indian or for that matter any sort of cricket follower but another interesting and well documented side of this man's genius is his magic arm that has got many a wicket at crucial moments! He has this uncanny knack of picking up wickets that few part time bowlers have and the chief reason for this comes from the fact that Tendulkar is the best student the game has ever produced! You can have issues with his technique, his match winning ability, his (now often abused) aging aggression but one thing that no one can deny is that he has an understanding of the game that is innate. I say innate because one can also be a Rahul Dravid or Steve Waugh, people who work hard to hone their understanding of the game and then you have Sachin, he understands the game in a very instinctive and unparalleled fashion. I guess his understanding cant be taught to others or used as a tool to lead which partly explains why he was a bad captain. His genius is purely for us to savour!!!

All Hail Tendlya!!

Humor in Cooking!!

2007-07-26T20:37:00.000-07:00

I made some lentils(moong dal ka sabji) today! When I sat down for dinner I got to know that they were not cooked properly! I ate the stuff but wanted to cook the sabji (I generally take the same sabji to lunch next morn) that was left! SO I added some water and left it to boil on the stove! And as you might have guessed I forgot entirely about it! When I went back it was burnt mostly in the lowest layer! I started saving what was left! As I did that I had three distinctly burnt components::
First Order Burn Sabji:: Eatable not very different from well(or rather extremely well) cooked curry! Saved up to be taken for lunch!!
Second Order Burn Sabji:: Eatable only if you like roast curry or if you are a grad student suffering random pangs of hunger! Saved up reluctantly expecting a hunger pang soon!!
Third Order Sabji:: As black as Konkana Sen Sharma's hair. Sent to the bin!!

LOL!!!

Montreal Diaries 1!

2007-07-06T22:13:00.000-07:00

It would be a crime not to write something on a beautiful city and a beautiful fest that you get a chance to visit! Here is my not so short diary entry for Montreal!
We started last friday! Started is the wrong word! I basically got up and waited for MA to call! I had no clue how we were going to get to Montreal! All that I knew was that Friday was National Action Day in Canada, aboriginal people mark that day to bring their plight to the doors of the common Canadian! They were blocking highways( India vaasam adikkudhe!!!) and I was like that is cool, finally I can see some confrontation in this damned country after 10 months you miss India even for its confrontations!! Sadly we could not take a carpool lift as planned and we were on a safe Canada Coach bus but I got my share of excitement when I had to buy lunch for me, Eugenie(MAs gf) and the Falafel guy in TO was so slow that I had jaywalk/run back to the bus! Anyways in 6 hours I was in Montreal!
The first night in Montreal I did two new things! Had a crazy dosa type western food called Crepe! Basic a wheat dosa + some masala (mild western masala that is) = Crepe, followed it up with expresso in creamy milk, yum! And the second new thing was paying a tip! (Aah why do french waitresses look so hot!!) Dinner with Zhenia (my baby sitter for the first night at Montreal) was followed by Jazz fest. The first concert of the day was some arbit guy singing conventional Jazz/blues! Stuff I dint like but yet I clicked a photo for the heck of it!
The next concert I attended was that of an Afro American lady singing typical jazz and she also said her father worked with the great Louis Armstrong! Her voice range was amazing but at times I thought the effort she put in mite kill her or something! Here is the concert pic::
With that done the first day had almost come to an end! We met Eugenie's sister Liah and her friends Swapna,Youshan and Julian all from Hannover. We walked to a pub to have one beer for the night and had a nice relaxing time after the long day! Here I got a a couple of logic questions from the group, one that I answered that day and the other that stayed with me for a couple of days!! The one that tortured me was this:
You have a prison with N prisoners. Allowed to meet once. The condition on their release is that they will have no contact after the first meeting and each night one among them (nobody knows who) will be taken to a room with a bulb and switch(nobody can see the room). The Jailer can call anybody,even repeat people night after night! For them to be releases one of them must announce to the jailer after realising that all the prisoners have been to the room atleast once and if he is right they are released else they go to the gallows! The question what is a fool proof strategy to achieve this! A pretty simple problem but I did not solve it immediately, shoot!
End of Day1, Day 2 to follow!

Journey

2007-02-09T22:37:00.000-08:00

Passenger(P):Lets start please!
Cant you see me kicking around to get in to the bus!!
Open the door let me in and start my journey please.

IVR(interactive voice response system)(I):Please understand a few things right now!

P: Dont you know we cant listen when we are about to start! what kind of a "I" are you?

I: you cant define an I, not now atleast! See I know you will for get what I say now but you will realise this again! But it is my duty to keep you informed for passengers are pretty sissy and get on my nerves by their constant cribbing!! One you cant return!!(P: (in his mind) To Where))
Two you will have to get down(I(in his mind) Rather I will make you get down) at the chosen point!

P: CAn I please start!!

I: This vehicle indicates just the routes! You can take any vehicle from now on! they must all end though. If you get down make sure you catch another bus soon! you know if u stay in place for long I may assume that is your chosen destination and stop ur journey right there!!

P:OKKKKKKK! Start!

I: All of them are like this!!

(.............AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAArgh...............................................)

The Beginning!!

(to be contd...from another bus station :) )

Me Myself and Him

2007-01-14T07:59:00.000-08:00

Stare at the mirror
I see myself shaking hands with him
the him I despise
for exisiting alongside
gloomy,shabby without spirit
lacking zeal and tired
he robs my happiness
I kill him
Iam dead too!!

Competition

2006-11-25T18:54:00.000-08:00

Iam convinced that I have none to compete against..
I say so because I can always find out more about the competitor and thus find no reason to compete..
But I must compete against myself since I know very less about myself..SO I must compete only against myself..If I finally know who really "I"am then thats the day competition and the desire to achieve ends..Finally a rational reason to this point..GR8

:)

Lara THE MAN

2006-11-21T09:54:00.000-08:00

Cricket has been my passion for about 10 years now..And Lara is one person who has remained an enigma even in cricketing senses for me...Before one can admonish me for not watching enough of a cricketing lord like Lara I just want to tell them that it has never worked for me with Lara..I have always wanted to watch a full innings of his live but that has not happened for various reasons like
1).He has lost his wicket early when I watch him
2).Power cuts
3)stupid rain interruptions..
But inspite of this fact I have managed to follow his career via highlights and papers..I have always been awestruck by his genius..He is one person who makes cricket seem as easy as washing dishes in a dishwasher..The sheer variety of strokes he's got when matched with that unending desire to dominate.. some old watchers say its the Carribbean blood that he shares with the original master blaster Viv "GOD" Richards has a role too.But another feature people sometimes forget when they watch Lara in full flow is the amount of hard work that has gone into his batting..Genius can dwarf most attributes that exists around including one's perseverance...The way he fought within himself to emerge from that historic slump of form at the turn of the millenium showed that his strength of character is amazing..I know other cricketers who had slumps but none have had it as bad as Lara and none have come back with such force(400 in an innings is the stats testimonial)..
Iam writing this as Lara is pounding the wits out of the Pakis at Multan with yet another gem and ..
Iam not watching that live either..
PV

A Reason To Live

2006-11-07T13:50:00.000-08:00

When He Knew He Was to Die

He Found Deep Desire and Reason to Live!!

Relocation Part I

2006-10-07T12:56:00.000-07:00

It has been a month since I arrived in Hamilton,ON Canada. A truly exhilarating experience for me. Everything about this phase of my life is worth remembering.I guess if I put stuff down it will help. Right from the start when I took out own desi Airbus from Chennai to Mumbai to eating out at Himalya Indian Restaurant at Stoney Creek,it has been one hell of a roller coaster.
First things first. The "packing tension" one feels before emabarking on a faarin trip is immense. You really cant priortize for periods of the order of years i.e If ure going to be out of home for more than a year or so you will find that everything you can think of will be useful at some point and it is hard to drop some things from your luggage.However airlines have an obvious limit which means you drop 100s of pages of Journal Papers and A4 sheets which you wanted to carry hours before your flight.It is even more irritating to be reprimanded by the bugging Indian Airlines official regarding the weight limit and that you may get fined. Finally the guy relents to incessant pleading about grad students being poor and cost of living in faarin being high and all.He adds a warning that the other official mite not be as generous as him. That turned out to be true but in a quite opposite sense. No other official through my journey raised a finger about luggage rules. The supposedly serious security check also turned out to be simple with people getting to take cabbin baggage quite contrary to rules of the time. But everything was not fine. Had a major scare at Frankfurt where the officials of my connecting flight to Toronto told me that my ticket on Air Canada was not confirmed and that I had to wait till 10 mins before departure to find out if I had a seat or not... That shocked me out of my wits and I started cursing my Travel Agent.But luck and The BIG G's grace was around and I got a seat afterwards.
Thats all reagrding the air trip.Was over joyed to find Prof.Bhaduri waiting for us(was travelling with Arindam/Arindan) at Toronto airport.What a fabulous human being he is.. More on My first month at Hamilton in the next post..

i can see my jaw bone !!

2006-07-17T21:47:00.000-07:00

This is just going to hurt a little bit

One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with
my mouth wide open.
And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopen.

Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,
But the one that is both is dental.
It is hard to be self-possessed
With your jaw digging into your chest.

So hard to retain your calm
When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line
or love line or some other important line in your palm;

So hard to give your usual effect of cheery benignity
When you know your position is one of the two or three in life
most lacking in dignity.

And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on.
And it is all cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and
drills and steam rollers and there isn't a nerve in your head that
you aren't being irked on.

Oh, some people are unfortunate enough to be strung up by thumbs.
And others have things done to their gums,
And your teeth are supposed to be being polished,
But you have reason to believe they are being demolished.
And the circumstance that adds most to your terror
Is that it's all done with a mirror,
Because the dentist may be a bear, or as the Romans used to say, only
they were referring to a feminine bear when they said it, an ursa,
But all the same how can you be sure when he takes his crowbar in one
hand and mirror in the other he won't get mixed up, the way you
do when you try to tie a bow tie with the aid of a mirror, and forget
that left is right and vice versa?

And then at last he says That will be all; but it isn't because he then
coats your mouth from cellar to roof
With something that I suspect is generally used to put a shine on a
horse's hoof.

And you totter to your feet and think. Well it's all over now and after
all it was only this once.
And he says come back in three monce.
And this, O Fate, is I think the most vicious circle that thou ever sentest, That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good
condition when the chief reason he wants his teeth in good condition
is so that he won't have to go to the dentist.

Ogden Nash

Aah this was just amazing. Had been to the dentist yesterday. Had my right wisdom tooth extricated. It had a horrible cavity and had to be removed. The whole procedure was simple except for a brief period in the start when the doc had to stick a needle up my jaw into the nerve for the anasthesia(btw anasthesia is a very beautiful sounding word isnt it espescially when it is injected). Here the doc had a trouble with finding the correct spot to inject so he tried it at couple of places before getting the right spot. At that time he told me something about the girth of my jaw bone etc. The worst part was all through the process he was talking and trying to make me comfortable but I guess one cant respond to questions like "is it paining?" with a crowbar or a needle up your jaw. So I just kept making arbit noises which got interpreted :)

Finally the tooth was removed and relief all over. But today morning I found a off-white patch on the area where the wisdom tooth existed. Initially was flabber gasted coz I assumed the doctor had'nt removed tooth properly but later remembered seeing my tooth's root after removal. Finally understood that was my jaw-bone. This is stupendous. I Have heard stories of ppl seeing their bone after a gr8 accident and all but I can see it without undergoing much pain. Ofcourse dentistry has come a long way since Ogden Nash's time. Its no more a gruesome affair as Nash describes. Though most people are still afraid of the dentist !!

Its Over

2006-06-10T08:32:00.000-07:00

The flight of fantasy
when one deceives oneself
One doesnt see reality
Reality shows up
when he isnt quite ready
So I get up
Dust my ass
Shrug shoulders
Shake Hands
And Trip on
To find another
Another flight Of fantasy
For
Everyone loves to be loved
:)

Sky

2006-04-28T00:42:00.000-07:00

As I sat on the Terrace Last Evening I saw something

The Sky Opened Her Wardrobe For Me
She Let Me through to See What She had
The Wardrobe Had Only One Dress
The One Which Was Blue
Dissapointed I closed My Eyes
But When I Opened My Eyes
The Colour Changed
It WAS Orange,Red And So Many Other Colours
Colours Which You Can See and Feel
But Are Too Beautiful To Be Written About

my first story

2006-01-12T00:36:00.000-08:00

The cold winter breeze struck his face with fury through the windows of the s6 compartment.the day marked 12 years since he lived through the death of four people who meant more to him than anybody else.he had moved on or so he thought.in denial,in sorrows,in tears,in retribution,in self depreciation he felt them.he had moved on or so he thought.in semi sleep he went back .

* * * * * *

December 6 1992 and the days that followed changed the lives of millions of people forever.krishnakant upadhyay was one of them.doing his final year of undergraduation and looking forward to a bright future he never anticipated what was to happen.

At around 8 pm on december 8 krishna and his roomamte salil chowdary were getting ready to go to the mess and have their dinner.both had earlier in the day taken part in a protest meeting and prayer for communal harmony in their college and had been unequivocal in their condemnation of the 'demolition' and the riots that followed.as they were going to the mess the pune informed krishna about the fateful phonecall from his hometown.an inspector talked to him and verified his parents' identity and then delivered the news.his parents had been attacked and killed in the riots.the police were organising the funeral since private funerals were close to impossible in such an situation.

As soon as the line was cut Krishna went numb.his had been a normal life filled with simple largely predictable and happy events .his mind was just refusing to react.When the mess workers served him his favourite food for dinner,he heard it

“Beta kitne patla ho gaye ho.Toda aur lelo naa” followed by a more masculine

“Lelo naa.jab teri maa kuch kehti hai to maan na padtha hai”

And he broke down.He wept without any inhibition in the open mess hall like a child whose chord with the mother had just been cut off.Sorrow is infectious it spreads faster than light.And that day Salil joined Krishna in his grief.

As they came back to their room Krishna, still deep in his sorrow ,took stock of the situation. He had to go to his town.but the riots had paralysed the entire country.the buses were not running and the next train was only in the morning.If he could just cross this one night he could reach his place and see his beloved ma and pa 's mortal remains,just once but

will the police wait till he reaches his town. he remebered that the police had mentioned the word funeral in his conversation.this bought to his mind the shocking images of his ma and pa's corpses lined in a large heap with others and being pulled up by the municipality workers for the mass funeral .this added even more pain to his volatile mind.

His hostel was in a predominantly hindu locality which meant the muslim occupants had left.but Salil wouldnt budge even when others called him.He thought that it was his duty to be with his only friend Krishna at this hour. Krishna did not know what to say.He only wished Salim got away to be safe ,away from the mobs .......... and Krishna.

***********************************

There was commotion outside the room around midnight.Salil immediately hid all his belongings and removed his locket and kept it inside his pocket.hoping against hope that he may not be identified.little did he know that his nemesis was not far away.

The commotion was followed first by knock and then a violent bang on their door.four men with saffron bands on their head forced their way into the room.As soon as they saw Krishna's sacred thread hanging loose below his shirt their robust manner softened into one of respectful indulgence.The leader of the mob asked Krishna “panditji kya woh hamare saat hai?”

* * * * *

Was it Salil?Was he alive?He seemed to be talking , folding his hands and begging to every passenger on the train.He smiled at Krishna and started walking towards him.Krishna ran towards the toilet.He shut himself and cried in true repentance.Could he have saved Salil?

* * * * *

“Panditji kya who hamare saat hai?”

At that moment Krishna felt the death of two men almost at the same time.Victims of violence perpetrated by extraneous factors and from within.The greatest success of the fundamentalists is not in the malicious killing of innocents who are always the prime victims of aggression but they kill rational minds,they polarize the educated ,uncivilize the civilized.On that cold december night Krisnakant Upadhyay allowed his mind to die and killed his friend just by a nod of his head.And Salil smiled at him.This smile was to torment Krishna more than his parents' death.This smile ,after which everything blacked out on that day (and for many more days to come),said “if u can avenge for your loss in this way SO BE IT”

* * * * *

He washed his face and came out of the toilet.An old,blind muslim beggar was crossing him.Krishna stopped him and gave him a hundred rupee note which brought a smile on the old beggar's face.the same smile.Salil was back ........

Gandhi Who?

2005-12-29T08:22:00.000-08:00

.... Arjun tilted his glass gently pressing it on his smoke tarned lips to let the last drop of the rum to reach his tongue, flow thru his throat and finally reach his battle hardened liver.alcohol had long stopped numbing him.Infact it inverse numbed him.He remembered things he longed to forget or had already forgotten like his first date,his first dissapointment,his first encounter with sex.so many firsts that made him hate the coveted single number.But he could not control thoughts that too with 8 patiala pegs of Old Monk already inside.

*****...................................................................****
Did Sundar Appa drink or not?little arjun's mind was repeatedly hit by this question.vignesh had sworn on his choicest of gods to the fact that he had seen his pop , arjun's and others drink whisky at their house.arjun had confronted his father on the issue but appa denied it and said that he had taken Thums Up and not whisky.arjun was convinced that vignesh was a little pest trying to ruin his 'hero' fathers image.He took on vignesh backed by appa's confession but vignesh did not move an inch on his stand.This created greater doubts in little boy's mind and finally he decided to seek the fountainhead of all known truths(atleast with respect to him) 'amma'.
amma never lied.vignesh knew that for a fact.when he asked her she initially avoided the issue.finally the truth had to be out.amma being amma tried to comfort arjun by telling him that hsi pop was'nt a drunkard like the ones he saw in the old tamizh movies but was a 'social' drinker.she said that he drank to give company to big guests and that too once in a while.but she also told him like all the bill boards on the road that drinking was a really bad habit and not to indulge in such things at any point in his life.but his questions were not over.day after day he frequently pestered his mom regarding the virtues she had taught him and how father appa was not falling in line.she was at one point convinced that the little lad would start to hate his father.so she had to tell him that drinking once in a while wasnt that bad after all.that was it.that made him so happy.she had restored his hero.strange are the minds of young ones,it takes a word to manipulate them.but this was just a starter of other things that would change his life for ever.for starter he argued with his history teacher on the merits of gandhiji's strong opposition to alcohol.this shocked the teacher since she did not expect a fourth grade kid to challenge her views leave alone gandhi's.most kids were taught to worship gandhi.worship they did.the teacher sent for his mother and she updated her on arjun's strange behaviour.it was decided at home that appa would talk to arjun.appa told him eferything and also convinced arjun that drinking was a bad habit and he had quit long ago.convinced ....... hahaha
..............................................................................
"Bearer unnoru peg old monk fashhht" arjun stuttered at the bar table.he smiled.A smile filled with guilt..........

......................................................................................

Little Sundar stood at the gate waiting for his father.this had become a ritual everyday.He would stand by the door.Amma would be asleep or crying.she never spoke much.But he knew why.Appa in the night was hard to handle.Amma said he went outside at the night and nobody was safe in the night outside.Appa must be very tired,the night was at fault not his beloved Appa.........

aruna runam

2005-09-26T08:47:00.000-07:00

tiruvannamalai(tvm in short) is a small town about 175 km form chennai.its a temple town with a temple dedicated to shiva in the agni form(u can literally feel the heat as it is unusually hot inside the garba griha)
the temple dates back to vijayanagara period and is quite huge.
but the other main belief in tvm is that the hillock (at whose foothill the temple stands) is lord siva himself.so the 17 km path around the hill is like a pradakshina path.people call this practice of circambulating the hill as girivalam.
that brings me into the blog.yesterday i went to tvm with girivalam in mind.we started about 2 pm form chennai and reached tvm by 5 pm.we had darshan of the main deity and proceeded towards ramanashramam.

ramana (originally venkatramani) was one of the most respected(and is) self enlightened sages of south india.he came to tvm at the age of 13 leaving behing his family in madurai.

me myself

2005-09-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

the day he saw this monster
was the one he was on leave
lying on his bed
thought he could dream
but sleep came to those with some room
so clogged was his head
that there was nothing that was'nt heard
could it be so unfortunate
for he broke off to sleep
but he would'nt let him be
the name of the monster
do all monster's have a name
he asked
no he thought
but u must have one for u have been
here all day and i must name u
to blame you
u want to blame me?
nay.u may never sleep
u need somebody to blame
to earn a proper rest
u search for the scape
and lose the nap
call me whatever you want
but u seem too busy to sleep
dont break off to sleep
for u are the one who knew no rest
u sleep but u want to name me
so u lose sleep
sleep for once with ur mind
inside ur dream not watching it
be a part of it soon
if u dont
u would start a search
once again
from the scratch.

the little one

2005-09-11T03:44:00.000-07:00

the little one has no sense
why would he be so happy
when others around him continue to suffer
doesn't he know that he will be them once
doesn't he know whence
he will suffer like others

he plays on his mother's lap
believes today's the first and last day
for he knows no tommorow
he lives by the day
sleeps by the night
he sleeps not because his world retired
but because he's dead tired
he lives by the day and
sleeps by the night

dont know why iam doing this

2005-09-08T06:33:00.000-07:00

i have lots of work to do or so do i think.if one has work one tries to shy away from it as much as possible.one plans,plans and plans and plans.but never do things work out.one's frustrated.
but certain things relieve frustration like today's walk in a rare chennai shower.raindrops are like kisses they come in all types.today's shower was sublime.the kind of kiss that affects u least physically but creates a deep feeling of happiness inside.
walking in the rain is the best of things to do if u stop looking down at the slush but keep looking at the sky asking for more and thanking her for the present.
hope ppl learn to enjoy rain.i hate umbrellas rather they hate me.this summer at bangalore i took a umbrella with me for everyday for 15 days expecting rain.on the 15 th day it rained but the umbrella had broken due to the treatment my bag suffers.and then i got drenched by rain and my happiness.

Freshers Day

2005-08-12T08:34:00.000-07:00

aargh what a horrible day.
when you drop a set of newcomers amongst women starved bunch of veterans and find that there is not even one newcomer of the other sex what results is mayhem.
yes iam talking about the most pathetic congregation of starved souls trying to have some boyish fun.i really dont know why people are so excited about the idea of sex to the extent enjoying the word sexy uttered by a uninterested junior student.they cant remove this idea from their minds is it?from gay sounding comments to sleazy actions like pocket billiards, oh god looks like my friends can get to their inventive best when they crack their brains regd sex.
its not that iam one of those lady vegetarians(a term invented by, who else but, yet another pathetic junior during this specific event to describe the fact that he is afraid of women and keeps considerable distance away from them) but i see women as just another half of human existence.

Jaywalkers

2005-07-28T06:12:00.000-07:00

What could prompt a two legged creature(one which does not possess exceptional reflexes or brilliant speed except the gifted few) to dart across a structure that remotely resembles a circuit of speeding monsters and jump across imposing dividers just to reach the reflection of what it was originally in.
I, being the poorest of road crossers, have always wondered about this species of people to whom the road is the most comfortable stage on which they enact their favourite stunts day in and day out.Two things troubled me.how does one call them? every set of ppl in our society have a collective name but some how i could not find a name for them but finally thanks to THE HINDU i got the word(title of blog)
My second thought was what drives them which i try to speculate
1.a bus on the other side which may take them to their destination(as a matter of fact they dont need it since their stunts themselves might serve as the carriers to the final destination)
2.demonstrtive purpose.(ppl whove seen tamil films like "BOYZ" may agree)
as of now i cant think of anyhting more
any jaywalkers around pls fill me with more and i will also think up of more reasons

why believe?

2005-07-17T07:35:00.000-07:00

i have never been a conformist.i have never been a complete believer in god.but i cannot throw away god as a concept totally.for me life is beauty. art in all forms (science,music,literarure) is the prime manifestation of beauty.god, as a concept,(esp in india) has brought out some of the most amazing pieces of art that mankind has ever seen.the search for the supreme(also the question 'who am i?') has given us lots of brilliant works ranging from rabindranath's geetanjali,tyagaraja's kirtanas to modern ilayaraja's tiruvasagam in symphony.it is this link between art and theism that still troubles an agnostic like me(rather makes me an agnostic in the first place)
this brings me to tiruvsagam in symphony.it is the cry of one man's soul for liberation interpreted by another man's extraordinary intellect.hope that more such efforts keep coming from the maestro raja.

wow eureka

2005-07-17T05:06:00.000-07:00

thot that i wud never be able to post anything again.as ususal i forgot the id and passwd but have saved it now.

my first blog

2005-06-25T14:03:00.000-07:00

i saw schindler's list today.was a special movie.i can't explain how iam feeling now.seems like mankind doesnt know where to stop.they start so many things but are bad finishers.